i have so much shame,
disappointment,
embarrassment
at my life
and how i cold put so much more effort into it.
how my mother could come down off her high horse.
sometimes i get these gross periods of my life, where i can't change my outfit or look into a mirror or even think about anything relevant to myself
without getting this horrible, sick-to-my-stomach, disturbingly forceful feeling of dread.
and i have no idea why, but i cant shake it for the longest time.
and that just kills me.
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