i'm just happy lately, i guess.
i spent the last few days in a fever-induced blur, literally doing nothing but sleeping and eating crackers. i have tomorrow off school and no classes tuesday and am feeling well enough to sit up at my computer, so tomorrow and tuesday will be spent catching up on work for classes and for amy, as well as catching up on breaking bad (a recent studio background tv favorite.)
things are good. i'm a little strapped for cash, but i've got paychecks in the wings. i've got homework up to my neck, but i'm excited to do most of it (exception: art history critical response paper), as they're all book projects that i'm invested in (a book about my mom's blood clot, a book about daniil kharms' "blue notebook no 15," a book for dustin and ivy about our ihop nights and how they helped save my sanity this summer). i'm happy to be working, happy to have things to occupy me when i don't have work (tj and i are working on some super cool collaborations), happy to have friends like tj and blake, and a roommate who will take care of me when i'm sick and not give me shit for not being able to help clean.
on top of all that, my blog is public again and i feel a little freedom with that. i really don't care to block my ex from my life anymore--i just don't care enough about any of it anymore, and that's freeing. i also deleted a lot of his friends who were still friends with me/following me on social network sites, and i think that will help keep him out of my life. that and the fact that i finally get to return to one of my last remaining communities at home--the salon--and know that he won't be there. my mom told me that everyone was so happy that he was leaving that they had a party without him, and i guess that lifted my spirits a little; i was so worried i was going to come home and everyone would be all about him, but that's not the case. amy came up to chicago last week and sent me lots of love from the salon and reassured me that everyone was as happy as i was that my ex was no longer working there. i think it's good for him, too...maybe he can get back to his band stuff without having to juggle 2 jobs. and hopefully he's still planning on moving out of evansville, i think he'd do much better starting new somewhere. i saw his name the other day and didn't see the cool brown tones i used to associate with his name. it was just a name, its normal colors, no different from any other. that felt really good.
i also deleted my okcupid about a month ago, not disabled, deleted. fully gone. and although i get a little lonely without it, it's good. i told myself that, if i still want it back, i can recreate my account when i move back to chicago at the end of january. but for now it's nice to just be.
anyways, i just felt like writing so i did. nothing super important here. just feeling some good vibes lately and wanted to remember them.
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