tumultuous

if i had to pick a word for 2014 so far, that's what the word would be. or maybe unfair, cold (in all meanings of the word), uncomfortable. i've been knocked-off-my-feet sick for almost two weeks straight, it's cold as fuck outside, i can't eat anything except bananas, applesauce, rice, toast, and soup, and i just don't have the energy to do the things i want/need to do. and shit is going down with my close friends, who are in the process of evicting a former friend of ours from their apartment because he's a sociopath who sexually assaulted one of them and won't move out or admit he did anything wrong, so there's kind of a constant flow of displaced people coming in and out of my house because none of them feel comfortable in their apartment anymore.

i'm just tired. and as much as i want to be there for my friends or take advantage of the new moon for new opportunities or meet new people or be in the studio all night, i've had to really take a step back and take care of my body, which exhausts me mentally and emotionally.

i don't know. my parents are coming in town this weekend (my dad to see a concert and my mom because she can tell how shitty i feel, and she wants to help me stock up gluten-free food for the next 3 weeks (oh yeah–i had a bunch of labs & tests done and i have to do a 3-week trial of eating gluten free starting wednesday)) and all i can think about it how much stress that puts me under to clean my house before they get here and get as much homework/work done during the week as i can so i don't have to worry about it when they're here.

anyways. i should get some lab results back this week, and as much as it would suck to have colitis or chron's or something else awful, it would be a relief to at least have an answer and a plan of action for fixing this. right now i feel stuck in a broken body, and i don't want to feel that way anymore.