i'm supposed to be fixed.

i'm not supposed to cry myself to sleep every night, still.
im supposed to have the energy to go to school, and come home and not need to go to bed right then.
im supposed to have enough energy to have fun, to dance, to run around.
i'm supposed to be able to deal with stress instead of just letting it crush me.
i'm supposed to want to learn, to be creative, to see my boyfriend.
all i want to do is sleep.
all i want to do is cry.
all i want to do is have dylan holding me, all day.

i used to be fun
and interesting
and skinny and pretty and
active and happy and not
THIS.
i'm so tired of this.




i'm taking all of my medicine,
so why don't i feel like a normal fucking human being yet?

my brain tells me i have the world to live for,
but my heart just can't hear it.