Thursday, April 1, 2010

It's great to know your true feelings about me.

Really.

After not having said anything to me in the past 3 days, except to blow up in my face in art class and then work with your back to me all of class.

You didn't have the right to blow up at me like that. I knew that you weren't mad at me, so I let it go. But it's been three days.

Which I guess wouldn't be such a big deal if what went down at lunch today didn't happen. But it did.

After failing to sign Kaleen onto being treasurer, I offered to run with you. Sure, it'll be fun to run as an administration with my friends. And you ignored me. So I offered again, repeatedly, and you talked over me to Kaleen. About how you needed someone in hl math to be treasurer, so that they could "actually look at large numbers and put them together" or something like that.

What the hell. Thanks for the vote of confidence. But really, thanks so much for letting me know what you actually think of me. I don't measure up to you and your intelligent friends, I get it. And instead of listening to me, instead of saying ANYTHING directly to me, you tried to let me know in a comment to kaleen that I couldn't possibly qualify for the position of treasurer because, I guess, us standard level math kids don't know how to add past double digits. And it was up to you to decide that for me. Well I guess I'm done with being the retarded kid of our relationship.

This makes me question everything. It pisses me off and hurts me that now I can't look back at our relationship and see anywhere where we were equals. How you and your boyfriend expect to live together, to stay together for x amount of time, yet whenever I bring that up about me and dylan, you dismiss it. How hl math makes your life so much harder than mine. How you always mothered me, and for some reason, I put up with it. How I'm never invited to anything you do with Caleb and them.

I don't want to lose you as a friend. But I don't know what else to do, because I can't do this to your face without saying something I don't want to. I feel like you walk over me because you don't think I'll walk away from our friendship, but I don't want to be abused.

And maybe some of this is a misunderstanding on my part, but I don't feel like I did anything to you. Were you pissed because I talked to Jillian during art after you got angry and put your headphones in? Was it my agreeing with Mrs. Goodridge on the collage idea? What the hell did I do? Because I just don't understand.



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In other news, I'm tired of dumb people on formspring. And I'm sick.

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