i am here.

in new york. in my brooklyn dorm. it's too late for me to be up, but i need to write this down before i forget what i'm feeling.

this morning was awful. for some reason i just felt like i didn't belong, like i couldn't leave my family for a whole month, like i couldn't handle four college courses AND my extended essay, like i'll never finish my IWB, etc. etc. i was near tears with agonizing fear. everyone seems so not midwestern.

but things are better now. i met my room mate leah, who goes by LE (her initials (pronounced ellie)). she is jewish and from new jersey. she's going into her junior year, so there's a big maturity gap, but she's the sweetest thing. (when i was in the shower, i left my lamp on and she turned it off, turning her dimmer one on and placing it on my desk instead. she left a note: hope it's okay i turned your light off and turned mine on so that i could sleep and you could still see. see ya in the morning! :)) she's studying fashion design.

LE and my suitemates (the two girls in the room next to ours, connected to our room by the bathroom) are katie and miriam.

katie is awesome. she reminds me a lot of hannah rennels in her looks. she's also from new jersey and is studying graphic design. she's closer to my age, going into her senior year. she listens to the same type of music as i do (big d and paramore!) and is sooooooper nice. i'm really glad she's one of my suitemates.

miriam is so adroable. she's from canada, but speaks with a weird accent, like german or something. she is going into her senior year, too. she's studying architecture. she's so genuine and wide-eyed; i really like her.

everyone is very nice and open.we all split ice dream and doritos from the C shop in my suitemates' room with some girls from the 3rd floor. it was a good way to spend my first night.

i also met a nice boy who is studying architecture. his name is cam and i believe he was from north carolina. we chatted a bit in the lunch line...he was the first person to really be friendly to me, so i like him.

i also met a few more girls from my floor and from the third floor.

oh yeah! i'm in room 520 of stabile hall. it's not an amazing dorm (and the shower is from beyond nightmares), but i can live here for 25 days. it's hot as hell outside, which makes me want to shoot myself anytime i have to leave the dorm.

i think i was just nervous this morning, but for some reason it made me very very angry. i think all of the hipster kids intimidated me, but after seeing a lot of portfolios, i'm not so nervous. i'm proud of my work, and a lot of people find my street art interesting, which is good.

i've yet to go into manhattan, but it was beautiful from the brooklyn bridge last night.

i love it here so far, and i just really hope it stays that way.

anyways, class at 9am.
i'll write more tomorrow, promise! <3cass