to you
you've been on my mind a lot lately, a nagging thought I can't shake, and almost every day I contemplate picking up the phone. you see I watched this film the other day, one that we had always planned to watch together, about love and loss and being away from each other. and for a while that made me miss you. I've been trying very hard not to, and it has been relatively easy to mark the absence where you once were just that: a nameless empty space where something used to be, no dylan-shaped hole in my heart.
I can't being myself to contact you, it'd be cruel and for my own benefit. I just want to know that you're okay without messing up whatever progress you've made, but it's not possible. so I sit and wait to hear from you, dream of the day when you can tell me that you're over me, that all is forgiven, that you're going to start your life. because all I want is for you to be happy and it kills me that you can't be.
I'm so sorry that things couldn't work out, but you have to know as well as I that it wouldn't have lasted. there were things bigger than us at play. and I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for you through the darkest of your depression. it still breaks me to this day to imagine how alone you must have felt, and I'm so so sorry. I would never wish that on you. I loved you very much, loved you with every fiber of my being and with all the intensity I could imagine. but sometimes people are only in our lives for short periods of burning bright love or friendship and then diaappear, like meteors. you were my comet and I hope that someday you can forgive me enough to think of me in the same way.
I don't know that we can ever be friends but know that I will always care for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment