finished.

Between wasted hours of restless sleep, almost-all-nighter cram sessions, and stressing over the amount of time spent in class when I could have been working, this week is finally over. Except for turning in my completed extended essay outline (some things had to be sacrificed for time's sake in turning in my world lit 1 paper) and submitting my more-or-less completed world lit 1 to turnitin.com, I accomplished everything I needed to do. I'm going to finish gluing pictures into my IWB tonight, do some CAS logging and wiki-updating tomorrow, and gather my last books to turn in to school/the library. Despite its wretchedness because of a lack of sleep, this week makes me appreciate the skills I've learned this year (typing more accurately quickly, skim-reading, studying in not-so-ideal conditions, managing stress) and helps me to realize the things I'm going to need to work on this summer and next year (not procrastinating, managing time and money, keeping a clean room and car even under stressful situations).

Even though I still have one more final next week, I've switched into summer mode. I really just need to tie up the ends on this year so that I can focus on getting a 2200 on the SAT June 5 (up from my former 1940), take the break I deserve, and then start my summer. One of my mom's former students, Rachael, is going to be staying at my house from next Tuesday until about June 8th with her little girl Cadence (Cady (pronounced like Katie)) and I can't be more excited. With a job prospect at a daycare center, I don't feel so stressed about this summer. I have a lot of things I'm going to need to buy for/in New York and I didn't think I would have the funds, honestly. It's exciting to me to know that this is what life is going to be like from now on. I understand that my extended essay is lurking, as well as college applications and renewed fears of rejection. But somehow I think just overcoming this year has made me much more mature than I'd ever imagined.

Dylan and I are better than ever. Today he picked me up from school and brought me home (my dad drove me this morning), at which point we just went outside and played with Gitsy for a good while. After a while we settled down on a hill in my backyard, just lying there and talking. I wish it were possible to take a picture with the eye. I understand that some moments inability to be caught on film is what makes us treasure them, but lying there with my eyes half-open, taking in the summery green grass and bright blue sky, I can't think of a more peaceful moment. Just to have that memory in my head, of the freckles on our noses touching, his chapped lips, the burst of sun behind his perfect jawline...I lose my inability to even think.

I can't even describe how much Dylan and Gitsy have done for me this year. How can the introduction of two new entities to my life have changed so much for me? I don't even want to think about where I'd be now if it weren't for them. And of course you, B. You are undeniably my best friend. I don't want to think about this time next year. It seems so unfair for me to have built my own family this year just to have it ripped apart by the fate that is college.

I don't want to end on such a depressing note, but I can't think of anything else to say. Expect another update when summer actually begins.

<3la