My 101st post already?!

Wow.


Anyways. The title of this was going to be changes,
acos' I've been making some big ones.

Well, little ones that are going to have a big impact.

For instance,
I'm joining a thursday night cycling class.
Nightly, I'm doing intensive hindu squats (100 per 5 minutes) and several ab workouts.
I'm going to start going to Bob's every Tuesday and Thursday.

I'm working on eliminating soda from my life (but I can't lie, I'm still allowing myself that carbonated, flavored water from schnucks!)

I'm trying to eat breakfast every day.

I'm starting to brush my teeth three times a day, instead of one or two, like I used to pride myself on.

I'm using proper grammar, punctuation, and capitalization online.

I'm getting caught up on homework and organization.

I'm going to start babysitting again! I've joined two online agencies and I'm working on fliers for BuyLow and the neighborhood.

I'm READING again.

I'm expanding my art horizons. All of a sudden, I feel like David. I just want to go the the library and read EVERY SINGLE BOOK that has to do with art. I am bouncing up and down on the inside to get to New York and DO ART. (I'm even looking forward to doing that damn acrylic that I started first quarter.)



I just feel so alive again, and I'm not going to waste it.

My mom swore after the whole blood clot/hematoma experience that it had all happened so that she would be forced to take time off of work and get her priorities (family before work) straight.

I always kind of scoffed at her for that, but now I understand. I'm not saying that I developed an autoimmune disease that put a black mark through my high school years BECAUSE I needed to quit wasting my life. Looking back, though, I really had no motivation. I was depressed, I was gaining weight, I had devoted myself to an unhealthy vegetarian diet, I refused to work out, I buried myself in school, and yet I yearned to be skinny and happy and popular and BETTER.

Honestly, I think that if I hadn't developed Graves, I wouldn't be who I am now. I think I'd still be depressed and lonely and I'd have kept on living unhealthily.

I had to miss out on living for a year and a half to truly understand that there IS some meaning to life. I didn't realize that I was suffocating myself in those habits. And now that I've been forced into living the extremes, especially the low, I can appreciate my life. I'm not going to take for granted the perspective this has given me.

I'm not going to sit around anymore.
I'm going to run with it.