ten goals to self-improvement

recently, i've been terribly unhappy. i'm doing what i can to better my life: spending time with the people who appreciate me, not letting those who dont effect my psyche, trying to sleep more often, making good use of my time, trying to take that time as it comes, complain less...

i'm thinking that the majority of my problems are related to my self-esteem: my hair is much shorter than i'd like it to be, which leaves me feeling extraordinarily insecure, the waistband of the skinnies i FINALLY got back into (from 7th grade, my first pair, my favorites) gets tighter and tighter, i work out and feel amazing about myself until i realize it's all in vain, there are bags under my eyes the size of north carolina, and i'm constantly breaking out--something i've never really had to deal with.
yeah, a lot of this comes with hyper/hypothyroidism, but it's not like i'm carrying around a sign that says "DISEASED! PLEASE EXCUSE ALL AESTHETIC DEFECTS UNTIL CURED!" ...i'm letting myself go, my body is letting itself go, and it's going fast. and that pisses me off.
i'm thinking of dying my hair in a few days, a deep reddish.

anyways
christofer ingle of nevershoutnever! wrote this, and i thought i'd copy.
here's his:

10 GOALS TO SELF-IMPROVEMENT

Build a closer relationship with God.
Beat all addictions.
Read a book each month.
Stay true to my diet/life decision to veganism.
Start running again.
Early to bed, Early to rise.
Study music theory.
Learn five new chords or scales a month.
Practice piano every chance I get.
Write in my journal everyday.

he interests me, and some of these choices actually caught me off guard.
i want that...i figure that if i can't have control over anything from my health to how people view me to the number of hours spent at that hellhole downtown, making a list of ten general things will help me not to stress the little things
so here goes!

10 GOALS TO SELF-IMPROVEMENT

keep my room relatively clean.
depend less on caffeine and more on good sleep.
say no to any more ECAs
eat healthier: more fruit and clif bars, less yearbook concessions
go to every class, including music theatre.
take better care of myself; have an hour of "me" time at least once a week
do homework the night it's assigned
complain less
work on emotional self-esteem rather than wasting hours in front of the mirror
listen to music again. REALLY listen.





in relation to your last post, blake,
i agree with you. simply trying to balance ten classes, a boyfriend, some means of a social life, family, chores, and some regulated emotional state is insanely difficult. it's not that everything is falling apart, it's just that the energy needed to truly be passionate about more than one or two of those things is hard to maintain. J was truly being an ass when he said that, but i dont think he realized that his words would have such an effect on you; then again, maybe he was using some primitive attempt at reverse psychology? the shock value of his words were perhaps meant to spark something within you you'd claimed you were incapable of? i don't know. i probably would have punched him in the stomach, no lie.
just know that you're not the only one experiencing this and that i think hope that it will ease with time. for now, don't be a stranger to your own advice: take your time hour by hour, stop and appreciate what you have.


that's all.
i'll most likely post again sometime soon.
nighty night!