what are the implications of fwb v. a "casual relationship" ?
isaac and i are both at a point in our lives when a long-term or even a serious short-term relationship isn't possible or even desirable. so we are both walking into this fling knowing that we are solely looking for some sort of short-term, committed compassion/passion. someone to talk to, someone to touch, someone to go out with. honestly, in my past i have always thought of the whole fwb/casual relationship thing to be stupid and superficial, but i'm thinking that my point of view might be starting to change. because it's lonely. living in the third largest city in the US is fucking lonely. you don't meet anyone or do anything, and sometimes it's just nice to feel the body heat of another person in close proximity to you.
so my question is: is what i'm doing shameful? am i being selfish in knowing that i am asking isaac into my life knowing that i will never consider him as serious relationship potential? am i being stupid to think that the intellectual and physical satisfaction i get from isaac is enough? does this reflect on my moral standing? (i'm totally tok-ing out here with the morals/ethics debates in my mind) i got back and forth and i've been asking my friends about it. michal thinks that it's great and i should be doing this since i'm in college and i can (but she has a fuck buddy), and emily says she doesn't see the harm. and i honestly really like it. getting to make out with someone who is incredibly hot and is a phenomenal kisser & hasn't tried to push it past where i'm comfortable and thinks that i'm hot is fun, and it's a self esteem boost for both of us. i don't know, there are just so many negative connotations with this idea, which is maybe what is creating this twinge of doubt in my mind.
blake, tell me what you think! we can skype sometime or comment (or both!), but i want your honest opinion, supportive or not. i think people around me are used to the idea, and i need an opinion from back home before i let this go any longer.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it as it stands now. I don't really think fwb in the sense that it's just someone you use for sex is ever a good idea, under any circumstances. But just having a friend that you make out with and cuddle with? That would be so awesome. That's what I was looking for when I started dating Lee, essentially. I think the negative connotations behind fwb are really associated with sex, because that's what most people (including me) think of when they hear the term. I know if Lee and I broke up, something like that would be all I could handle. It's nice to get the physical closeness without the exhausting emotional strain that comes with a new relationship, especially so soon after you got out of a serious relationship with someone else. So, I say go for it.
ReplyDeleteWe can skype still but I'm really swamped with homework tonight and tomorrow night I'll be going to a formal overnight in Indy with my friend Jimmy, so finding a time may be difficult :\. This is literally hell week for me.