one of the lowest i've had in a really long time. binge ate twizzlers & cried in the shower & have been lying in bed since 10 and i still don't feel any better.
i'm tired of this cycle, of having this same fucking thing creep up on me and drag me down whenever it pleases. sure, my nights of panic attacks and crying and wondering if i've completely fucked up my life and any chance i'll ever get at love used to be a nightly thing, and now they only come every 4 months or so. so i'm getting better. but i just don't want to feel this way anymore, i don't want to doubt myself and the entire foundation my recent life has been built on just because of some nagging fear that i'll never get anything better, or even as real as, what i pushed out of my life.
i have nowhere to put my love, it just sits there and keeps on loving.
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