Big D

why does depression take the people I love away from me?

everything with dylan, leah is in the hospital on suicide watch, and tj is transferring back home.

this week has completely wrecked my emotional stability and my motivation. all I want to do is sleep and cry. I haven't spoken to daniella in days, I can't eat, I can't sleep when I try to, and I can't focus on my design work, for school or for work, and deadlines are crashing all around me.

I am lucky that my bouts with being depressed are fixed with therapy sessions and changing my thyroid dosage. i get depressed sometimes but i do not suffer from depression, and I am so grateful for that. but it doesn't make things easier when I'd rather sit under my desk in my room than interact with daniella or even gitsy. since last week I've been lower than I've been in a while and I'm just scared because I don't know how it's going to get better.

I feel like tj let me down. I just don't want to talk to him or see him or think about him. I feel betrayed. and that isn't really fair, but that's how I feel and I can't help it. I feel alone.