i talked with my mom tonight. she could tell i was really distracted in my studying for the music theatre final and could tell when jaime walked into the room that it was because of what he said to me that one night a few weeks back. anyways. she decided to have him try to apologize again, and to have me tell him that i would work on forgiving him, trusting him, respecting him, etc.
she asked him if he loved me, if he respected me, if he saw me as his sister, if i ruined his life.
he said "um," "honestly, no," "no. if we werent related, we wouldn't be friends. we have different ideals completely." but then he said something that struck me. he said that i didnt ruin his life, that he did. that if he had paid attention and not been depressed in elementary school, he'd get straight a's now.
he inferred that his life wouldnt be "ruined" if he got good grades. my mom then tried to explain that success in school doesn't mean everything. she asked me if i was ever happy in all the years i got straight a's.
"nope."
she told jaime that i am "more real and alive now that [i make] shitty grades than [i] ever was, because [i] know more about [myself] and how [i learn.] which proves that school isn't everything."
:)
thank god for momma.
i needed to hear that.
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