in the form of a song.
"a ring around the moon" by balance problems.
no other song could possibly better describe my situation right now.
"it's quiet here, and i have learned to breathe. / rest easily, i promise not to leave."
take it as you will,
but i'm giving this to you.
i'm retreating inside myself for a while. i'm learning to deal with who i am, to stop being so dissonant in my actions to how i need to be functioning. my heart is safe inside its box.
but don't fret, don't leave me here. i'll be back, and maybe next time i won't fuck it up so much.
i'm here, i'm just a bit preoccupied.
C, I owe you too. I really do, you're just as much there for me as I am for you, and sometimes I think I secretly pretend you aren't because it sounds better for me to "be strong enough to deal with this shit without anyone else." But I can't. And I don't know what I would do without you, I mean that. I never thought that terrifyingly scene kid with the pink hair that looked so confident in geo freshman year, when I looked just like everyone else and wished I felt like them too, would end up being my best friend. But you did.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm honored that you would trust me enough to let me in, moreso than your own family. I'll help you as much as I can. I'm here for you, I love you.