i am

i am not who i want to be, physically.
i am not who i want to be, intellectually.
i am not who i want to be, romantically.
i am not who i want to be, emotional stability-wise.
i am not who i want to be, health-wise.

i am not who i want to be, wholly.


but i know who i am,
and i love her.
i know that i'll probably never be physically perfect in mine or anyone else's eyes, and that suits me just fine.
i know that i'm not the next isaac newton or albert einstein, but i have years to grow and learn into my own intellect.
i know that i am the best girlfriend i can be, that i love dylan and he loves me. and eventually, when the time is right, we can take that last step in our intimate relationship together.
i know that it's getting a tad bit easier to let my heart out of its box every now and then with every day that goes by.
i know that as soon as my thyroid levels are settled, i can get there.


i'm happy with who i am. i know that spiritually, i'm content with what i've got. and for now, that's good enough. i'm not going to wait until one day i'm magically who i want to be. i'm going to live, and i'll celebrate along the way with every new accomplishment i make on my list of the ideal me.