didn't go to bed til two, studying for a math test which im pretty sure i failed anyway
i fell asleep in chem, wasted tears on a forged community service form, fell asleep in spanish, didn't do my health homework, and like i said, failed a math test.
so basically, my uncle sean is coming to live with us on monday. divorce. i am not allowed to leave my house until both my room and the bathroom my brother and i share
are spotless. get his, my brother's room is about as messy as mine, but he doesn't have to clean it, even though that's where my uncle will be living. i'll probably delve deep into the world of being an older sibling in due time, but im too pissed to waste my energy on that right now.
anyways. im blaring red jumpsuit apparatus, hoping my mom will get bitchy about it. and painting my nails. and decorating my shoes. anything but clean my room.
the big mess is that i realize im doing this to myself--over and over and over again.
i think i'm just in this funk, a sinkhole, that i can't get out of. like i'm just walking along, then one day i climb up a mountain, reach the peak on good days. then somehow, something has to go wrong--i fall of, down to a valley where there are plenty of small hills and just as many sinkholes. then it just starts all over again.
much like china's dynastic cycle--eventually all good things must come to an end with a swooping crash and a spectacular burn. oh, newton if only i lived in your ideal world...
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